The Jump into 2009

Its funny to me how much we all reflect around New Years. Invariably between Christmas and New Years peoples conversations turn to reflections, pondering and dreams/goals for the new year. 

If you have been around me this past few weeks you probably have heard me expressing my deep belief that God is working in my life and those around me in ways which I believe will result in an amazing/exciting 2009. I am really excited about this next year and could probably write for hours about how I feel like a child on christmas morning about this next year. 

In all of my excitement and anticipation  I do not want to forget to stop and reflect on my past year and praise God for the discomfort which has shaped me in ways I never guessed possible. 

January 2008- Evaluating life and praying God will show me where to move to. Lonely, unhappy, and looking for a new city/ a new place in life.  

March 2008- Give up facebook/Im for lent when I realize I use facebook for false friendships. Assume that God is going to bless me for my sacrifice with tons of friends and resulting anger when God does not reward me with 25 new friends. hehe funny how we give things up so we get things sometimes. 

April 2008- Lonely , feel that God is telling me that I am going to stay in L.A for awhile. 

May 2008- Go to church retreat..... Start to remember to see life as a story...... looking at my life in relation to character/ plot development. Meet some quality friends and start to feel ok with staying in L.A for awhile. 

July 2008-October 2008. No Job=No home= QUESTIONS= soul searching= getting ok with a lot of Me time and learning to enjoy me. Character building up the wazoooo! Hardest 4 months , but months that I would never want to give back. Fell in love with just talking with God throughout my day and being ok with having an occasional yelling match with Him. Learning to live simply. 

November 2008-December 2008- Realize that God has placed me in an awesome job, community of friends who stretch me, starting to realize my heart for building community and looking for ways to encourage true open community with others. Joy. Life is not perfect, but found contentment and joy. 

2009- More growth, more community, more passion, more joy, less me, more silliness, dream, travel, try new things, love more, love brilliantly....... I can't wait to live this year!

Storm watch 2008

There is something incredibly homey about the rain(which is ironic since I am a native born californian who expects to hear about "Storm Watch 2008" whenever there is a slightly steady drizzle) . 

For some reason every time I hear rain drops patter on my window I feel the same surge of joy I feel when I lay in bed and listen to my family awake in the same house on Christmas morning. A soothing sound which in a dreamy state of consciousness washes away the busyness of everything until you are left warm and safe with nothing to hide. 

Enjoy the rain, feel warm inside, read a book, and see the light in their eyes.

Goodnight

Musical Voodoo

I am a fairly logical person. I don't always follow what is considered "standard logic" but, in general stray away from the illogical or whimsical approaches to life.     ;) 

Lately though, I have observed a somewhat strange and paranormal occurrence which I can no longer hide. 

My radio/ itunes can read my mind!

I know that this seems crazy, but seriously there can be no other explanation to the fact the music which pours from my radio/computer without fail will capture my mood or thought process without any prompts or encouragement from me. 

For example a few weeks ago when my heart was light, romancical and bright. No matter what station or ipod shuffle I played it seemed that the world was in love and good.  At one point when I realized that my incessant serenades of love might be annoying the car stuck next to me in L.A traffic( once again if you were stuck with me on the 5..... I am sorry) I tried to find something a little less cheerful and seriously I could not find a single depressing non your prince is coming song.......... really really little lady with the scowling eye I did try!

But today when the world felt a little grey and I could have used a good "ITS A LOVE STORY BABY JUST SAY YES"....... yes that is taylor swift..... hey we all have our musical vices! But no today the radio knew my mood and all it could sing was depressing life is ending or people leaving songs. I think I even tried a more hip-hoppy type station and Bleeding Love was on. 

I have tried to be logical about this whole radio mood sensor/ fortune telling, but after much study...... I have to admit. 

My radio can read my mind. 

Religious doubt

Recently I was talking to a new friend about his worldview. For him the end all of life is determined by the fates. He stated throughout our conversation that it was "the fates that took me here" and if it is meant to be "fate with take me there." My new friends approach to life is still a quandary to me. To be honest I am not completely sure who/what the fates are and what gives these entities the right to rule life, but according to his worldview they do. After seriously pondering this worldview for a time and questioning how often statement like " it is all in Gods hands" sounds to others who don't see the world from my viewpoint.  Does my faith ever/often get conveyed as cookie cutter, holiday sprinkles faith? Is there a way to live my faith in a way that I can show the co-worker who showed me the aforementioned card(I just started working there and I am pretty sure she has NO CLUE that I am a Jesus Lover) that my faith is different from the easter bunny, the tooth fairy and santa clause?